Jedi Mind Tricks

This year I have been stressing the importance of vocabulary in my English classes. So, like, they can, um, sound, uh, somewhat, like smart when they interview, have a job, hold a conversation, etc. And although my students think they are resisting, I've noticed them slowly incorporating some elevated vernacular (see what I did there?) into their writing and even their conversations. It's fantastic. Below are some of my attempted "Jedi mind tricks" to get them articulating in a more sophisticated fashion:

              You May No Longer Say:                                        Instead, You Will Now Say:

                     "You talk too much"........................................................"You're SO verbose!"

                    "Floating water bed"........................................................"Pneumatic Mattress"

                    "I needed a good cry"......................................................"That was so cathartic!"

                "Go away, you stubborn jerk"............................................."Back, inexorable fiend!"                            "You're so nice"..............................................."Your benevolence is beyond measure"

                 "Wow, you're really smart"..........................................."Your profundity astounds me"

          "Is that a describing word?"......................................"Is that the adjectival form of the word?"

      "What will help me out more?"..................................."Which decision is the most advantageous?"

"You're sneaky and it creeps me out"...................."Your insidious tendencies hinder our friendship"

I'm not saying all of my Jedis-in-training have completely matured and exchanged the left column for the right, but I can attest that the excessive exposure is affecting them.

Just the other day, one of the kids came up to me and said, "Mrs. Willke, you put the FUN in profundity." The force is strong with that one.