Lately I have been feeling a bit stressed. Maybe that's an understatement. Lately I've been so overwhelmed that sometimes it feels as if I can't breathe.
This school year (my second year of teaching) I have been the "yes" queen. I have been living by the mantra, "I need to do all that I can while I have time to do it." Want to lead the drama department with no prior experience? YES! Want to teach an inclusion class with no prior experience in special ed? SURE! Want to coach the JV fastpitch team? OF COURSE! Want to be involved in starting a Younglife club for the students at Franklin Pierce? I'D LOVE TO!
All of this on top of my regular responsibilities as a teacher, wife, and friend. I have, until now, refused to admit that I bit off more than I could chew. I wanted so desperately to be involved. And I truly have enjoyed being a part of each one of these activities. But I have started to feel like this:
This school year (my second year of teaching) I have been the "yes" queen. I have been living by the mantra, "I need to do all that I can while I have time to do it." Want to lead the drama department with no prior experience? YES! Want to teach an inclusion class with no prior experience in special ed? SURE! Want to coach the JV fastpitch team? OF COURSE! Want to be involved in starting a Younglife club for the students at Franklin Pierce? I'D LOVE TO!
All of this on top of my regular responsibilities as a teacher, wife, and friend. I have, until now, refused to admit that I bit off more than I could chew. I wanted so desperately to be involved. And I truly have enjoyed being a part of each one of these activities. But I have started to feel like this:
and this:
which, ashamedly, has resulted in this attitude:
Burnt out. I remember my college professors' sage advice: "Don't do any extra-curricular advice the first three years, you'll get burnt out." How true those words are. I have been grumpy, impatient, and a little unkind to the kiddos in my classes and thus have been questioning my ability and effectiveness as a teacher. All because I took too much upon myself.
Until Friday. One of my sophomore students invited me to a celebration at her church this past Friday. She informed me that it was for her youth group and that each of the members were to invite an adult whom they felt had impacted them in a positive way. As she was explaining the celebration my eyes welled up with tears--I had impacted someone in a positive way? Even through my grouchy, nagging, pestering, negative attitude? In her mind, she was simply asking me to attend a celebration--a task that was assigned to her by her youth pastor. What she had really done was renewed my passion for teaching and my faith in myself. It was just what I needed. It reminded me why I love my job: I get to influence, shape, and alter students' lives in a powerful and meaningful way. It also reminded me that "my Father knows the things I need of before I ask Him" (Matt 6:8).
I can't wait to go in to work tomorrow with more enthusiasm than ever, which, hopefully will look a little something like this:
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I LOVE this post, Emily!
ReplyDeleteYou have taken on so much this year, but I KNOW that you have been such a positive influence in so many lives. You are the kind of teacher that kids will remember forever.
I love how you shared that little experience you had with your student. I really wish I would have been better at recording specific moments from my teaching career. You should write a post listing out some of the funny things your students have said--I always wanted to do that yet never did.
Also, I love the pictures you chose for this post. They were fun ways to further illustrate the points you were trying to make.
Looks like you've delved right into the blog world, Emily!! ;)
You are so lovely. :-) How lucky I am to have you as a friend. I'm sure that any time you need a little encouragement, there would be many people there to remind you of the wonderfully positive impact you've made in their lives- myself included. Love you, Em-Rad!
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